I am man of Fantasy.
- When everyone sees a dark sky, I see a galactic war happening in other galaxies.
- When everyone sees an ancient Temple and pray to the god, I go in there and visualize how grand the opening of the temple would have been centuries back.
- When everyone sees old tree that lived for centuries, I can’t help but to think how the Tree have lived through the ages of Wright brothers, Neil Armstrong landing on the moon, Colonialism/Indian freedom struggle, Internet era and how much more will it live to see into the future.
- With just few pencil boxes and eraser, only me and my friend Alex, could visualize such a dramatic civilisation wars at our age of 10.
Being such a unreal fantasy person, I decided to follow one such fantasy, a fantasy of greater good, a dream of my life and still pursuing it. Though the progress is stand still, I am still hyper enthusiastic about the idea, as Day 1, actually more than that now. Because I have done 100 mistakes already, which means I am already N-100 steps closer to the goal. I don’t know how many long years and how many more lessons I need to learn, but I am 100% committed to go through all the shit and see to it that it succeeds.
On other side, I can’t stop my mind from applying this fantasy thoughts to my personal whims and wishes, which is very dangerous. Time and again and again and again and again, Cosmos have proven me what patterns work and what not. My logical mind can see through things clearly, but the stupid human part of me, is not accepting the patterns. It wishes, dreams, longs and then suffers IN HELL!
Though I am person of Fantasy, when it comes to application I am also a realistic, logical person, in all departments but one. Just in this one department, I fail in all aspects, I fail to apply my logic, I fail to apply my will power and more than all, I struggle to apply my fundamental, my optimism (my core), that I have with everything else in my life.
Though I believe I am sculpting every minute of life in all aspects, in that one aspect It’s hard to take control, hard to take choices. And the patterns are scary in this department. I am not pessimistic, but it’s really hard to be positive. Dear Cosmos, help me out here, hold my hands and just walk with me. No need to carry me on ur shoulders, just walk with me. As for others, please do what’s best for them. Lol. I am becoming insanely religious here!
As the Greyjoys say, “What is dead may never die. But rises again stronger and harder.” I will rise again stronger and harder. Because there are greater things to be taken care of, and that is all what matters!
